LETTER TO MY GRANDCHILD ON BIRTHDAY HER 13TH BIRTHDAY

Letter to my grandchild

My Darling Grandchild,

I want you to know how much you have truly blessed my life. You were my first Grandchild so that in it’s self makes you special to me. But not the only thing that makes you special. I can not tell you in words how much I love you and how proud I am of you.

My dreams for you are that you live your life in a way that will bring love, success, and happiness for the rest of your life.

You are so blessed to have so many people that love you. Your Mom and Dad love you so much, I know you have always had that so it seems second nature to have that love but let me tell you it is a wonderful priceless gift. I never felt the true love of a parent.

My mother felt that love meant putting food on the table and strong handed discipline but not showing affection and love like you have. I had no father ever and no father figure, no Grandparents ever, you have so many from both sides that loves you so very much, more blessings even though you may not truly appreciate that until you’re an adult for some time.

If you never do anything for your Nana I want you to only promise me a few things that I know will make your life better and easier and more fulfilled than you will understand until probably when I am long since dead and gone.

Keep God first in all things, steer your own path don’t let people steer it for you.

Wear the “True Love Waits” ring we sent you today and wear it proudly forever not just until you’re married. Make it a pinky ring or put it on a chain afterwards or put it in a special memory box with this letter after your married.

Keeping yourself pure in mind and spirit is the best gift you will ever give yourself.
I have done a lot of stupid things in my life but I did keep my vow not to have sex before I was married to your Grandfather. Although I was crazy enough to marry at 16 I would not have been intimate until a ring was on my finger no matter the age. Once you give that part of you away it is gone forever there is no getting it back. I believe respecting your self enough to say
“True Love Waits” is a remarkable gift you give yourself and God.

But you have to let God be the judge of your life not man. I hear over and over times have changed, times may have changed but God has not changed his love for us and we have to love ourselves enough to value ourselves. Let your mind rule your body not your body rule your mind.

Education is so important; one of the biggest mistakes I ever made was quitting school when I married. I did it not because I wasn’t smart; it was because of low self esteem from being told all my life I would never amount to anything.
You on the other hand have a wonderful Mom and Dad and Step-Father and others that are encouraging towards you and know how smart you are.

Grandchild you have only to reach for the stars, God can make dreams we never even have the nerve to ask him for a reality if you stay in school educate yourself and believe in hard work it takes to make it, and trust in God, you will never have to settle for “less” in your life.

Being educated means not being dependant on anyone else and allows you to make decisions in your future based on things that you truly want and that make you happy not settling for less than you deserve just to get by. When you are educated you can chart your course and pick an equal in your life to be a partner, not just pick someone to have security or stay with them because you fear you can’t make it without them. You need to be able to choose a mate for life out of love not necessity as I have done that in my life and it is a self made prison.

Unfortunately I did it for a long period before I went to school and realized “Hey, I am smarter than I was told, I can learn, I can be, I can achieve”. This is something I want to pass on to you without the painful way I learned it in my 40’s.

Be yourself, you are a kind, sweet-natured.

Be polite in all situations , think before you speak, later in life when it is time to seek employment and references you want people to be able to say, “Such a nice person, well spoken , confident but not pushy, smart but not smart mouthed.

I have learned one thing the hard way too, what comes out of your mouth is what people know or think they know about you:

If you talk trashy, you’re conceived as trash.

If you speak intelligently but not as a know it all, then they see you as being intelligent.

If they see you show kindness to friends and strangers because it comes from the heart such as volunteering, they see you as someone with a good heart.

Walk with your head held high but not with your nose in the air.

Know that you are as good as anyone that walks this earth but better than no one.

The C.E.O. of a major corporation is no better than a homeless man; it was one wrong turn, one lapse in judgment that could have made all the different, one act of kindness or a hand up that could have made all the difference.

One thing I wish I had done at your age was to seek out wisdom from older people. I wish I had learned from the mistakes of my mother, I wish I had been lucky enough to have had so many grandparents like you do.

Talk to them, but most importantly LISTEN to them and take it to heart. Grandparents, older Americans, have lived through everything or most things you will ever have to live through in one way or another that makes your life happy or miserable.

We are in no way perfect and no one has made any more mistakes in life than I have , but as I have always told my kids a mistake is a mistake, what did you learn from it? Move on, but remember the lessons. A mistake is a one time thing you learn from, repeatedly continuing to do it over and over is a pattern of stupidity and self destruction. You are definitely not a stupid person.

Learn from your mistakes and learn from your parents and grandparents and don’t feel that you need to fight the life lessons, most people that talk to you about such things love you and want the best for you, if they tell you they have learned from something, make your brain a hard drive and store that knowledge somewhere so you are not doomed to repeat it. Try not to be as hardheaded as your Nana. We are not always right about everything, but we always love you and want the best for you as your Grandparents.

When you are older and decide to love, like we really have that choice in who we love, partner with someone that is a true friend first. Friendship and honesty is the best foundation for any relationship be it male or female friends. Trust, is not something I had never known until I met my husband, he is my best friend; he has been there for me through the best and worst times of my life. A friend for a husband is God’s greatest gift.

It is wonderful when your feeling pretty and full of life and a man is telling you your all that, but let me tell you from first hand experience, when you are so sick and weak you can not sit up by yourself and they put their hands gently behind your back gently and raise you up, that is a true friend that is love.

When you’re in school and afraid and wanting to drop out and they remind you how smart you are and how much they believe in you and never let you stop trying that is love and that is a true friend. A true friend builds you up they don’t tear you down or let you tear yourself down.

When you are so near death that turning off the lights make you have a panic attack and you feel the touch of their hand in the darkness and you feel like you can make it through one more night that is love.

When you are so sick so weak and can not clean yourself and your husband/friend cleans your body after going to the bathroom because you are too weak to raise your arms and the pain is tearing you in half, even though the man has to choke down vomit because he can not stomach the smell of your own bodily functions but goes on, he does because he loves you and steps up to the plate, that is love, that is friendship.

Love is not sex in the back of a car, or a quick sexual act. Love is someone that is there when you are absolutely at your very lowest moment in your life and like an Angel from the Lord helps to lift you up, be it in mind or in spirit or body.

Sweetheart wait for that kind of love the rest is just a rehearsal for the real thing. There are millions of thorns in the world but believe me when you are a praying person and you pray for God to choose your mate, it will be the best thing that ever happens in you life.


In your career choice, do something you truly love to do, not for the paycheck, not for what others will think of you but something you truly love, you will be doing it for a lifetime so why not enjoy it? Why not chose to do something that makes you feel good, that fulfills you? If you can make someone’s life better along the way then so much the better.


The best piece of advice I have heard in a long time I heard on television when I heard Maya Angelou the poet say, “ When someone shows you who they are, BELIEVE THEM”.

In others words if someone treats you with disrespect, they don’t respect you.

If someone hurts you and shows no remorse and continues to hurt you they don’t love you they like hurting you.

If someone lies to you, they are a liar, if they steal from you they are a theft, if they don’t keep a promise for no good reason they don’t honor their words.

Grandchild, you have absolutely no power over anyone but yourself.

If you think you can change anyone else to be a better person or to treat you better the only way that will happen is if you show them you will tolerate nothing less than you deserve. Put yourself on the pedestal God place you on and make sure your do not allow anyone to knock you off it.

If you allow yourself to be used, you will be used. If you allow yourself to be mistreated, you will be.

If you allow someone to take away your self esteem, you will have none. If you allow someone to take away God’s promises to you and turn you from him, they are of the Devil and not holy and you have to look at it and say whom should I follow? God or the Devil?

It is a one or the other thing the choice is not always an easy one when others are pulling on your ear, or when it is not always popular and it is always a work in progress. You can not serve two masters, it is God or the Devil.

But all that stuff is so unimportant at the end of life believe me when we stand before God we are only responsible for our lives no one else’s. I wish I had been a better role model for my kids and grandkids. But I feel like it is never too late to learn, never too late to try and never too late until you take your last breathe to do better, be better.


Lastly, my dear grandchild, I love you, I will always be here if nothing else but by phone.

You can trust me to be honest with you even if it stings a little.

Don’t ask me a question you don’t want me to give you an honest answer to. I will talk to you about anything you need to talk about no matter how small or large you think it is and I will never betray your trust.

What ever you need to talk about I will always listen I will not judge you.

I want to be to you what I never had, a Grandmother, not your Mother not your BFF but a Grandmother. With all my faults, imperfections, but someone that loves you beyond all your understanding.

I loved you from the first moment you took your first breathe, and I will love you past my last one. For infinity and 28 days, to the moon and back. You know this is the most anyone can be loved right?


Happy 13th Birthday my darling precious Grandchild, you are a gift from God to all of us that love you and to those that will someday meet you.

I know this looks like a book, but it was on my heart. Put it away in a safe place and read it every few years as you grow into the person I know you will be. When your feeling blue, or feel no one loves you, even though that is not true, pull this out and read it a couple of times and remind yourself how special you are all over again no matter how old you are.

On the day I leave this earth and I hope that is a long time from now, I want you to read it again at my funeral.

Know how lucky I was to have known you, to have known all my children and all my grandchildren. To have known a great love in my life, in having God in my life, to have known a man like my husband that loves me unconditionally.

Also that I was faulted deeply and had many scars you will never know about, but know this most of all, I did the best I could and I am at peace with my life.

That I never stopped learning and neither should you. I never stopped loving and neither should you. When I leave this earth don’t cry but rejoice and be glad I am with the Father and will see you again. Know that I am a part of you forever and you are a part of me forever no matter what.

My kids, my grandkids, my husband, siblings and friends have been my greatest gift to me, my greatest source of love, lessons in life and although it seems life’s hardest lessons are the most valuable ones; life itself is a lesson from beginning to end.

Live your lesson, live your potential, never settle and never stop reaching for the stars.

As I read this I have decided that I will keep a copy of this letter and send it to each of my Grandchildren on their 13th birthday a tradition of love. I hope you don’t mind sharing. I love you all the same and wish the same thing for all my Grandchildren.



I love you always and forever,

NANA